The other day I happened to have a stimulating conversation with a friend that was trying to explain to me the problems with getting married in today’s society. He was trying to elucidate to me why men are not that interested in getting married anymore. He likened this process, to placing a wanted ad in the newspaper. He felt that there was a surplus market for a Non-Functioning Wife! So surprised by the remark, I asked him to explain what the Non-Functioning Wife was. Here is the recap of his description.
Wanted the Non Functioning Wife:
Looking for a Non-Functioning Wife that loves to work only a few days during the week and never on the weekends with no serious marital duties or skills or obligation required. No Experience necessary and faithlessness is a must. Motherly instincts and parenting skills are not required. Loves and adores constant nagging, bitching, moaning and delights in dripping faucet conversations. Able to throw away money on frivolous spending and has little desire for savings. Is an extreme enthusiastic shopper that does keep up with the latest fashions and trends and that hates doing laundry and ironing just as much as I do, wash and wear is desirable. Has the expertise and know how to keep a filthy house and all pets and animals are welcome.
In addition to everything else, she doesn’t meet any of my physical needs and there is no emotional connection what-so-ever between us. Has a trained ability to be pushy and forward and stubborn. Able to hold a grudge for lengthy amounts of time, excels in stone-faced responses and can be cold rather than warm and friendly in and outside the bedroom, and possess an acute ability to have no communication for days.
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Another non-functioning duty that I’m really looking for is lack of etiquette, style and grace loves going to bed looking like a worn out rag or hag. Not really sociable to my friends and family, can’t stand to celebrate holidays, birthdays, and other non-memorable dates. Has the inward ability to get heated, throwing pots and pans, and the knack to swear like a sailor. If she is also laid back, a stay at home wife that is lazy, loves the soaps, this is very much welcomed. TV dinners and a sink full of dirty dishes, and misbehaved children is a plus point to a chaotic home. Most importantly and above all able to withhold love and affection, causing a sexless, non-intimate relationship that is the sure fire success to a perfect marriage.
Now, all jesting aside, not that I agree with all of the above, I know that it depends on the individual person, but I have found that you can also switch the role and put an ad in for the non-functioning husband that is proficient at not working or able to keep a job, no need to be able to dress up well, that loves to slouch on the sofa with his television remote, avoids intimacy and hates conversations, being fully aloof. That is also proficient in wife-beating that is rude, boorish, and has severe Neanderthal like qualities speaking only in grunts and moans. That is also never at home, and spends all the money gambling and drinking in bars, and loves to drive like a maniac. He also has additional lovers, and has no regard for his children or family. All gentlemen like qualities are not needed. Simply put- No Experience necessary to act like an ass.
Now we can go on and on, regarding the non-functioning wife or husband, the problem is that a lot of people seem to act like this after they get married. After introducing you to their representative, they then reveal their real selves. Besides, being self-absorbed and taking one another for granted, they seem to feel entitled to act and do whatever they please in the relationship, without any true regard for the other person or their feelings. Nurturing a marriage and relationships takes time and work. No one says that it is easy, but it can be rewarding. The truth is this partnership can be a beautiful life-long venture, if both individuals are willing to give and surrender themselves to each othe
r, for the betterment of each other and their relationship will result in a true rapturous bond of love.
If the person feels that they don’t have to make sacrifices, and are not willing to support one another, the relationship can be doomed for failure. If there is no pain, no gain and you otherwise end up with A Non–Functioning Wife or Husband, that doesn’t give a hoot about anything. Just what everybody needs! Not!
Written By: Candace Chambers-Belida Copyright © 2011
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6 thoughts on “Wanted Non-Functioning Wife The Kind Men Want To Marry [dating] [relationships]”
Canadace Chambers-Belida’s article is entertaining and yes no-one in the their right mind would intentionally enter into a relationship with a “non-functioning wife” or husband, but her recommendations, though meant well, may actually speak to why these scenarios actually exist.
Couples turn out to be less than they appeared in the beginning of a relationship because they were truly incompatible (either mentally, physically or energetically) or they were not relationship material or they we’re needy and looking for someone to help them feel the love they had not yet figured out to how to give themselves. Further they thought they could make a go of it because they were mistakenly driven by chemistry, sexually drawn to each other or perhaps pressured by friends and family to think it was the right thing to do, or flat our scared that there was no one else for them.
Yes nurturing a marriage takes time and work just like any partnership. And giving and surrendering to each other for the betterment of the relationship is also sound. The big mistake that is too often made is when two people make sacrifices for each other. This is a HUGE error, ends up in co-dependency and a space where true love goes out the door, to be replaced by expectations, stories and fantasies about what their lives used to be like or should be like.
At that point the couple are no longer “seeing” each other for who each person truly is. They are constantly in judgement. Love, especially unconditional love, is GONE. They are living their fantasy of love, which is a nifty construction that rarely lasts.
The only healthy environment for a romantic partnership is when two people have a mature agreement about what that partnership is going to be. NOT how they are going to give and take from each other, but how they are going to contribute, grow and sometimes heal as partners. The relationship itself is like any partnership. It is a third entity that two people agree to by making their needs and desire known and how they are going to do that IN the partnership. NEVER should one person give of themselves to fill up the other or take from one partners to fill up themselves. Instead, in a healthy relationship each partner contributes to the partnership.
Metaphorically they are like three cups of liquid; one for each person and a third for the partnership itself. Call it “us” or “we”. They fill up a third cup with their love, support, kindness, creativity and more. When an individual is in need they get their support and their personal cup refilled from the “We” and not the individual partners. When two healthy partners continue to fill up that third cup it will flow over to the degree that other people will be effected. Just think of the last time you went into a restaurant and saw two people so beautifully connected that it changed your own attitude to one of love and appreciation. That’s what a quality relationship is all about.
Larry – you are so on target! Love It! Marriage is give and take, and mutual respect.
I really think that men are completely out of their minds often. This friend of yours sounds to be jaded and maybe he’s got many short comings. With that said, both men and women have their issues staying together without driving each other completely nuts! hahah 🙂
Jollia that For sure! Unfortunately some people feel that after I do is said, its I don’t!
Loves and adores constant nagging, bitching, moaning and delights in dripping faucet conversations. Able to throw away money on frivolous spending and has little desire for savings…
I knew there was a reason why I didn’t fight the divorce. Yep. there it is! Thanks for reminding me and yes, I love being single again.
Yep the dripping faucet will do it every time.