The Love Chase-When Does A Man Stop Chasing After A Woman?
As we all know, men are hunters by nature. Men are the ones that lead the romance dance, but what do you do when you find yourself in a situation with a man who, at the beginning of the chase, seemed to be “so into you,” then you suddenly find that you are not being chased anymore?
Understandably, you want answers. Where did all the exuberance go that was in the beginning of this relationship? When men seek after women, they seek for two reasons only. The first is that they are looking truly for their life-long partner, which is the other half of himself that completes him.
Secondly, they are in the chase for the complete “thrill and exhilaration” of the chase, and for them it is merely just a game. In this particular case, they have no intentions whatsoever of building a long lasting relationship that is built completely on love, trust and commitment. This is why in this case, that most women seem to find that love and commitment seems to elude them. They have come across a man, in the relationship that was only in for the complete thrill of it all, and for the joy ride. Even if that joy ride may last for several years.
The first man, that is seeking for that heart-felt love and soul connection, is completely dead serious about the relationships. He is ready to cross over into marital love and bliss with full-on commitment. The only thing that could possibly turn this man around – where he goes in the opposite direction is that he finds something in the relationship that has lost its value- or its luster.
He now no longer feels that the chase (lets correct that- the woman that he is chasing after is worth it any longer). At this point he will throw in the towel. Free to subscribe to Bella Petite!
Unfortunately, if the woman is crazy for the guy, really into this person, she will then pick up the falling towel, and try to speed with accuracy to the finish line. The only problem is the fact that women are not hunters, they don’t have built inside of their DNA, to be the ones who strategically, and masterfully captures their prey. Women have a total set of other female strategies that work for this. So unfortunately what happens now is you have a woman that is chasing after a man.
The man now plays hard to get, and toys with the woman and her emotions and affections. When women love, they love hard and they love long. It takes a lot for a woman to retreat, especially when it comes to the emotions that have been formed in her heart.
As complicated as this mouse and cat game sound, it definitely is not for the faint-hearted. If a man has truly lost interest in a woman, he simply diverts his attention, and moves on. If a woman, played to hard to get, he could just merely give up, because he feels it’s no longer worth the effort, despite the fact that he may like the challenge. His attention span will quickly look for someone else to chase after.
Most men do take the time for pursuable relationships. They immediately have a notion, whether or not this woman is going to be worth the chase. If the woman shows some interest, for the man – the sky is the limit in his attempts to pursue her. He is not only driven by passion and desire, but also by an insatiable desire to win. To catch her as (a hunter) to his prey, this too becomes an incredible driving force.
On the other side of the coin – women, love to be chased and pursued. They want to see that a man is willing to do absolutely anything and everything to win her affections. The problem is when women get too puffed up in the race they forget the true reason of this guy’s display of utter affection. Then they find this poor guy now as something to coyly play with, like a kitten with a ball of yarn.
Now if a woman really likes the man that is chasing her- if she wants him, the only thing that signifies that is that she has to stop running, and he will indeed catch her.
To sum it up, if the relationship is of true worth and value, both parties, will start to bond together, finding that mutual ground of respect, love and commitment, and the “Chase Ends,” because they have truly found each other. Free to subscribe to Bella Petite!
Author: Candace Chambers-Belida Copyright 2012 ©Candace Chambers-Belida “The Loveista” – Relationship Expert
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32 thoughts on “The Love Chase When Does A Man Stop Chasing After A Woman”
‘Women love to be chased and pursued…’ Not always…not all of us. If it is in the workplace it can be downright off-putting and even frightening. Especially if you are the ‘underling’ and he is a powerful figure.
The covert remarks made to you when no one is around…being ‘caught’ in a more private area (like the Copy Room) and no one else is around…the staring and leering (meet the Big Bad Wolf).
One thing some of us don’t think of…turn it around on him and 9 times out of 10 he will run like Hell! He may never give you eye contact again.
In my case the guy had great sexual magnetism and was very well liked and held in high esteem. It became so uncomfortable for me that I called New England Tractor Trailer Company to see if I could become a truck driver!! No word of lie. I was going to hit the road and get far away (meanwhile being a bit of a ‘cougar’ by picking up young men)…so that I was in control.
Do I miss it? And him? Absolutely. No more thrill and life was a lark…electrifying. Oh, did I mention I am married? Told my hubby about the whole thing. He said to ‘handle it’ and so I did at that point. And life on the job became relaxed and sane.
Hello my name is Mrs Katie from UK and I think you are just a great magazine! I am delighted everyday that I come by to read you 🙂
generally nonsense, much some parts are misleading. first,very little known to us about the “gatherer-hunter” era, in comparison we do know from prof.karen armstrong(bible and history researcher), writes in her books, about ancient bible times, she mentioning in her book (the history of god), Canaanite goddess of war Anat and some others (huge list http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:War_goddesses ) , giving us indication that women fighters were very common at that days and praised a lot, also some facts indicates that woman were equal as man and even more(had higher status), in contrast to what we see in Hollywood films, which i assume you know has nothing to do with facts and education.
why we didn’t hear about it? might be because some religious interests and political once’s, misrepresented and falsified the facts, as you may know christian religion controlled most of the western world thought fear.
if we combine this knowledge that women were good fighters, with their current high level of manipulation and strategic skills, we might see the flame of warrior inside hardwired for struggles and conquers.
women too sensitive?
neuro-science shows that no action taken without emotions, same place that executes our decisions responsible for the emotions (see source: https://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action) some films might mislead and some might confirm, that the best warriors led by their feeling (Spartacus, gladiator). also look at armies or fighting groups/activists nowadays, best officers/soldiers come from families who educated their sons/daughters for deep feeling for the country/society.
people most of the time speaks, not whats on their mind, but what they should say to win the society confirmation, like a computer executing a part of program when it reaches to the code part, if we assume that woman has a warrior characteristics in our society, where films program our brain, woman might want to do the only one thing she expects the man to do.
yes woman seat whole night on the bar wanting so much to approach someone, burning inside ,struggling not to take action before a guy does(some may send signs of interests), resisting to stay in the boundaries that society(TV in this case) made for her, but if she wasn’t a warrior she probably quit fast, instead she might change bar or move to a club as methods of struggling with the inner voice,trying to create other opportunities for guys to approach to fulfill the society role.the inner voice tells a woman to approach, its the same voice we silence, every time we chase them. The more pretty the woman the more guys approach her, the more society’s attitude confirms in her mind, silencing the inner voice, the voice of the warrior.
Brene Brown says: “we prefect” and “our child hire-wired for struggle when they get here, our job isn’t to make them prefect….”
Guys our job isn’t to chase or pursue woman or even approach first, our job is to get inside a warriors head, same as our head so is women’s,
they are just like us, think of it that way and i hope it will help you.
This nonsense written on this article is the exact reason why many men I know have simply opted out of all relationship/marriage once for all and started replacing women with video games and porn.
Women’s crave of chase has gotten so far that is just no longer pleasurable nor reasonable for a modern woman who wants equality , but doesnt have the balls to ask him out. Once again, equality without responsibility.
With the birth of the dating sites, which have given women more power in dating, many men are getting sick and tired of this chasing crap. I know I do.
I have a question is it true that when a man cries over a woman he will never love any other woman like her?
Very true, We too tend to think lik dat…..Untill we meet d nxt girl !!!
No. I can tell you and assure you from personal experience. A big, fat, no.
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To John’s comment, I totally agree. Men have limits too. And they generally go well beyond their limits before they ‘give up’. It’s not that they will go find someone else when they get bored. If the women they’re into is being useless, then there’ll come a point when it just makes no sense to carry on.
Since women have a better time attracting men, many believe that men can pick up women with the same ease and frequency. This is nonsense; men have to prove themselves far more unless they are at the top of the heap. There are women who complain about the quality of men out there, but they are usually focusing on a narrow spectrum of men. Even a recent article stated that anyone outside of being white collar are “non-negotiable” as far as dates are concerned—they are not dating material these pseudo-elist women mentioned in the post. Nevermind that many blue collar men can make good money, but I digress.
Looking into it further, the typical moaning and bitching often includes that men aren’t even “manning up” to improve themselves and make themselves more potentially good date/mate material. Of course, there are women who decry that men will not take up their responsibilities. When Western culture is swimming in misandry, it’s not too hard to understand why men will not “man up” in first place. When being loyal, honorable, honest, hard-working, genteel, and generous is not mutually rewarded or even outright exploited, a man seeing clearly will wise up.
This is evident with the dating scene as well. The cards are stacked against men, and there are women who will not give up their social and personal power so easily . . . even if it harms them in the short term. They are refusing to accept that there are men who will not let their own self-respect dwindle or be used in the dating process while sweety wants to reap the rewards. If some sort of mutual equity was widespread, it would be different, but it is not the environment we observe now.
A good friend of mine summed up things nicely, although he was speaking about the workplace when he was getting the brunt of crap jobs and lost much of his motivation when he knew it was a losing battle to hold on to his job at the time: If you don’t care, why should I. There are women out there that do not want to understand this about men, and will continue to blunder and largely blame men while living in denial about what is actually happening.
Over the years, the shaming language loses it effect, and the women that are upset that men would rather play an X-Box in their thirties or keep their money for retirement. Women need acknowledge why this is more common rather than remaining smug and single (all the while still thinking about men at every turn). In the mating dance, even with the dating scene, it’s not being intimidated by a “strong, independent” woman that stops men from approaching/making the first move. Those same men are tired of running the gauntlet for little result, disappointed by the arbitrary whims, never being good enough, and the exhaustive and trivial lists judgmental women draw up for them. And who can blame them?
Ms. Ali – You are GREAT! As a guy who has NEVER asked a woman out ( how do you know that she is interested, so she can ask me>), you sound like the kind of woman whom a guy would go CRAZY over. Best wishes!
Agree. NONSENSE article. As an attractive guy who has dated many women, some absolutely gorgeous ones, I have to provide some feedback.
There will be an initiation from the guy at 1st, if he wants you. However, there will also be a limit. Especially if you are an alpha male.
You are not going to be some dufus chasing & trying, chasing & trying. That’s NOT how it works. Once that threshold is met,
it’s basically NEXT! And it’s the women’s loss, period. I’ve had this happened many a times. And the girl/women is like, WTF.
That’s what you get for playing these stupid games. Alpha males do not put with this BS. We are always in control.
“They want to see that a man is willing to do absolutely anything and everything to win her affections.” Wrong!
We do not put you on a pedestal and bow down. The soft beta male, perhaps. That’s because they doesn’t know any better. They think that a women’s poop doesn’t smell.
Who writes these articles?
@Alpha Male, but what if you really,really liked that girl??Like she had a lot of good qualities that you liked in a women; she was smart, beautiful and fun to be around. Would you still chase after her or when would you stop chasing her???
You ain’t a man not a woman remember? A normal woman will want to see a man is willing to do anything to have her. Fullstop!
I agree with your message Candace. Thanks for placing a woman’s prospective here.
I’ve got a big guy issue, besides being a long distance relationship, we’ve meet online last year, and it was great for the first month then, one morning he said he couldn’t keep doing this. To my surprise he came back about two weeks later saying, he was missing me, so of course I started things back up, but after two months, one day he said he’s done. So I decided to try the one month no contact. To my surprise he responded, with a lol, but I left him alone for hours, and he started messaging me all the time just like he never did, he even would just call, I was shocked before he only asked me to call. But the other day we were talking on the phone, and he just hung up, and I haven’t heard back, can you give me some advice to why he might be constantly changing his behavior?
He sounds like a narcissists. Blow hot and cold…playing games. Run.
the guy is double minded he is in confusion as in who to choose among u.
Women just don’t seem to comprehend the fact that men don’t like every woman they see. You know how you don’t like every guy? Well, guys are the same way! If he’s not chasing, he doesn’t like you. Period. That’s his right, just as it’s your right not to like someone. If you try to change his mind you’ll just make a fool of yourself. Go find someone else. That’s what he’s doing.
Feminism and anti male laws are the reason men to date or marry you.
Untill they are reversed. Nothing will change. get a cat. MGTOW
Are you short OR ugly OR poor OR lack confidence and social skills. Then please I beg of you to stay out of the “breeders” club. It’s cruel to keep breading omega boys. Nobody wants them. They all end up depressed and shooting down innocent children in their rampage against rejection.
Alternatively, man up and play among your stronger leaders. Seek an alpha male as your mentor. Have faith you can play among your own men and maybe even win.
Maddie – That goes for women as well.Men do not like fat, tall ugly women .
The guy may not hit on you because he is scared of rejection,been rejected by a lot of women or many other things.
My husband and I have been together 10 years but married 5. I started to notice some strange behavior from him Since 3 months ago, and a few weeks ago I found out that my husband is seeing someone else. He started coming home late from work, he hardly care about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn’t even come back home for about 2-3 days. he asked for a divorce and moved in with another woman. he Checked out emotionally. He has cheated 6 times over the past 3 years, before now, We use to be a happy family with two kids. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the internet one day, I came across a website that suggested that Dr Mack can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and and told him my problems and he told me what to do and i did it and he did a spell for me. 28 hours later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my family are living together happily again contact ___dr.mack201@gmail. com
I don’t believe much of this one sided opinionated article.
I’m a man, and when a woman starts playing silly childish antagonizing games, I leave.
I’m not into playing games, it only creates aggrivation that establishes a ground for more games, and then the relationship just turns into a silly fictional game.
Women tend to have and play several characters in a relationship. Most of which are childish and cutesy.
That gets old quick. Be for real.
A woman’s heart should be so close to God, that a man should have to chase him to find her.