A couple days ago was my son Chris’ 21st birthday. Yikes! How time flies. Hard to believe 21 years ago today I was at Cedars Sinai Medical Center, just a stone’s throw from The Beverly Center, in excruciating pain and abject terror over anything other than having missed the designer shoe sale at Saks. But there I was, bringing life into the world.
I called my son a couple of weeks go and asked if our family could throw him a party,
“Mom, she doesn’t appreciate anything I do; my kindness, my understanding, my helpfulness. She doesn’t appreciate me”. Of course my inner voice was screaming. “Forget her, she’s not worth it. Move on.”
Instead I thought about it for a moment, wanting to choose words he himself could appreciate; “Chris, how can you expect anyone to appreciate you more than you appreciate yourself? If you appreciated yourself, your values, your sensitivity, your sense of humor, you probably wouldn’t be with a girl like that. No judgment on her. She just doesn’t value the same things you do.”
He sat silently for a moment, so I continued on with the mom monologue. “ Many times in life you’re going to be placed in a situation where your values are met with total opposition or extreme indifference. You’ve got to
Silence came over the phone and he finally responded in a sad voice, “no Offense mom, but I’m gonna call Richie and Cheryl.” My heart slid a notch. Guess this audience didn’t value my contribution.
The next night we’re at Richie and Cheryl’s for a dinner party. Chris comes bouncing through in full power and joy like
Okay. I stand corrected. It’s not just about the value of your contribution. It’s about the presentation of your contribution ….. I can totally appreciate that.
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