Recently, as I was preparing to work with a client I was given a very clear message for this particular individual: Please stop back seat driving. Trust the Universe to guide you. We have the map – right now you don’t need to know where you will go. As soon as I wrote it down, the phone rang and there was my very excited client. “Sorry if I’m late Maria, but I’m stuck on the freeway, I’m 10 minutes from home – can we start now anyway!?” I just laughed.
I could immediately imagine this woman zipping through traffic in a fast red sports car, bobbing and weaving then screeching to a stop in the driveway. Could this client be a backseat driver on top of being a speed demon? Absolutely, and later she confesses that this is indeed a true statement. For many people this would be an accurate assessment.
The symbolism of this message is both literal and figurative. Some people do back seat drive when their spouse or partner is driving. Others will stand over your shoulder and critique as you work on a computer project. Then there are the people who issue advice to everyone (including strangers) as to what they should or shouldn’t be doing. It’s overwhelming to be the recipient of such a back seat driver but it also tells others that you don’t trust them to “do it right” or “to get there”. Others need to have their own process and learn at their own rate.
However by doing this, the back seat driver is trying to be in control of everything and not only be a passenger but the driver as well – knowing where the road will bend or slope upwards all the time. The fundamental issue is TRUST and the ABILITY TO SURRENDER.
So here you are, back seat driving your entire life. I am all for having a plan andexecuting it but there are periods of time when you need to soak in the inspiration around you: look, listen and reflect as to what’s being brought to you. Where you need to be the passenger not the driver. It’s a very different experience sitting in that seat rather than being the driver all the time.
Sometimes, you can miss important inspiration, or ideas because you’re so distracted trying to control other things. Often times what you’re being distracted by is completely out of your control.
5 Tell Tale Signs You Are A Back Seat Driver:
- Often times overwhelmed with too much information
- Usually “helping” or rescuing everyone and everything around them
- Not listening to universal guidance and inspiration: usually manifesting in dreams, snippets of conversations that you feel “land” deep in your heart or the ideas that come to you in quiet moments, sleeplessness at times.
- Embodying the “Snow Plow” technique of just zooming through information, plans etc without looking at the information around you.
- Becoming too focused on the end goal and not allowing deviation from “the plan.”
So here’s a revolutionary concept for you to chew on.
- Could it be possible that you do not need to be in control of every single tiny little detail of your life and the people around you?
- Would it be more freeing not to have to fret over all the details around your business or career?
- Is it remotely possible that there could be a bigger picture that you’re missing for your life because you’re so distracted with other things?
- Perhaps the person you hired to do the task at hand is competent and they can do very well without you standing over them?
Chances are you’ve answered yes to most of these unless you’re a complete control freak – in that case I really can’t help you. However, my point is that sometimes you need to relinquish the map and the driving to others. Where you can surrender and simply say: “I’m not sure where I’m supposed to be going. But I know I need to look at things differently, trust and let go. Just show me where to place my next step and I’ll do it.” This requires faith and understanding that there is ALWAYS a bigger picture than you can ever see.
An over controlled existence, even an over planned one is RIGID and TIGHT. If this is what you’re throwing out there into the world, then you will manifest more of the same.
For me, I prefer a more fluid existence and flexibility in my life in every aspect I can think of! Usually one symptom is merely a mirror reflection of the same thing happening in different areas of your life.
It’s all about what you choose to focus on and give your attention to that creates a magnet for more of the same in your life and work.
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