Tiger Prefers “PETITE-Meat!”

By on February 17, 2010

Michelle Braun, a Hollywood Madame, claims that the “Tiger” of the golfing jungle prefers his prey “petite, blonde and natural”…oh yeah, and easy on the “breasts!” Although, clearly, that’s not always the case given he carried on a 3-year affair with petite porn star Joslyn James, who…well, yes indeed, has enormous breasts!  Hmm, perhaps he’s a “thigh” man? Well, at least the petite part is trueJoslyn James stands at a petite 5ft- 4in, although I wouldn’t touch her with a ten-foot pole (just my two cents, if I were a guy). Whatever his preferences may be, the cat is definitely out of the bag and TIGER has not kept his paws to himself since more and more mistresses are popping up…or should I say, “Popping OUT?!”

Braun told Inside Edition that not only did Tiger routinely request his kittens petite and blonde, but he requested a litter of them each time he wanted to play, paying $60,000.00 in a weekend’s time and $250,000.00 in a course of a year!  Wow, now that’s a lot of…kitty(you all know what I really wanted to say, right? Go ahead, insert new word, LOL!). Braun claims she supplied Tiger with his pets on 12 different occasions, the most being for a “petite pillow-lipped looker named Loredana from Manhattan – “He paid $15,000.00 for her,” says Braun.

According to Braun, Tiger wanted kittens who liked their milk and catnip (meaning, he wanted “party girls,” which meant to Braun in her industry, “open to drugs”) one can only speculate the dangerous territory he dragged his newly captured prey across.  This, in my opinion, collaborates the stories that have been reported about Tiger taking the powerful sleeping pill, Ambien, to boost his sexual addictions, (sexual addictions = rehab for the golfer). However, upon Tiger’s release, the reports of the petite-gawking golfers lack of attention and care, towards his addiction, came out with him – “it’s a big joke to him,” says one source, “He didn’t take it seriously,” says another when Tiger got out earlier this month.

Reports say that the TIGER is back at his Den with mama kitty and cubs, after 6 weeks of sex addiction rehab, but they are not having a “roaring” good time since breaking news of Madame Michelle’s claim.

Will this couple ever purr again? I definitely have my doubts his wife Elin is not petite at 5’10”.  I’m sure before this year is over, more “play-toys” will come forth.  Check back with Bella Petite to get your updates about “Tiger and his pussy-cats!”

Written by: Tana Corporon

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2 Comments

  1. Ashley

    February 18, 2010 at 6:58 pm

    This was very funny!! you are clever with your words!
    keep on the good work!

  2. Nancy

    February 18, 2010 at 8:21 pm

    Men are dogs and us kitty's so like to scratch thier noses when they invade our territory. lolThe man deserves what he gets.

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