Are You A Lipstick Bully?

By on July 1, 2010

ARE YOU A LIPSTICK BULLY? By Maria Gamb Bella Petite’s “Business Expert” and newly contributing writer!

Most believe that competitiveness in business is an activity engaged in amongst the males in the society.  Women, the loving, nurturing souls that we are couldn’t possibly take part in this activity, right?  This is, in fact not so.

You might be surprised to learn that in a recent study 40% of the bullies in the professional arena are women.  The target?  70% of the time its other women! Shocking, isn’t it?

As the perception of the current economic situation tightens the level ofcompetitiveness has skyrocketed.   In general people have been feeling that there simply isn’t enough to go around and that they must fight and compete to keep their position.

The correct interpretation of “competition” is to take something away from another person before they can get it.   However, the caveat of competitiveness is that if you are someone who is doing the utmost to “take” from another then be warned, it will ultimately be “taken” from you.  This is an example of how the “Law of Cause and Effect” can operate in a negative manner.

This is the vicious cycle of competition.   Once you’re in, it literally feeds on itself as the fear to win at any cost by pummeling your opponent takes over.   This is the ego in full force driving you to compromise your values and take actions that you may not, on a normal day participate in.   It is the belief that there is not enough to go around and you must get yours before someone else does.

While there are some very obvious behaviors of a bully whose goal it is to squash their competition, women have a very special, almost soft way of delivering the blows;

Implying gender stereotypes

Glaring at one another in a hostile manner

Giving others the silent treatment

Rude or disrespectful treatment

Perpetuating false rumors

Other more direct manifestations are blatant threats to destroy another person’s credibility and a very obvious aggressive approach in delivering any point they are making.

When one engages in the competitive cycle they literally spend more time looking over their shoulder rather than looking forward to creating and collaborating together.  It is a waste of time and energy for all parties.

We are asked to spend more time creating rather than competing with one another.  When one is in the creative process, more opportunities arise, not less. Doors begin to open and something new and magical can come of joint efforts.

Collaboration is the kryptonite for competitiveness.

This is applicable for all genders.

By  Maria Gamb, CEO, Mentor, Author, Speaker

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11 Comments

  1. RhondaLee

    June 30, 2010 at 12:56 am

    Gosh what do you do about the female that throws herself at the male executives to get ahead, how am I suppose to compete with that? I find the flirty girls annoying and distracting. It makes me feel like I need to do something other than my job to get ahead.

  2. LaylaEvans

    June 30, 2010 at 1:05 am

    What a helpful article about what's wrong with women in the workplace. I thought I was crazy having experienced these rediculous women at work! I wish women would spend more time supporting women as opposed to fighting amongst one another. Is it even possible this could happen with women in an office atmosphere?

  3. Nicolleta

    June 30, 2010 at 4:06 am

    OH I am so glad you posted this!!! I have been enduring this toxic situation for quite some time and I've about had it this week! I get that some people are insecure with their positions or fear that they may lose their job in this economy due to budgets cuts, but using manipulation and office bullying are very low tactics. I try my best to keep a smile on my face and sheild myself from the negativity, but one can only handle so much. The subject of Office politics involving WOMEN needs to be addressed more. However, out of all of this I have been prompted to get out of my comfort zone and look for something that I'm passionate about to where I may reach my full potential in life 🙂 Wish me luck!!!

  4. Shawna

    June 30, 2010 at 4:08 am

    These are exactly the reasons women are not in control of majority of upper management position. Think about why would anyone want to work with people who act the way you've described in this article? I feel like women are sometimes their own worst enemy! Get it together ladies and put the pettiness aside!

  5. gina

    June 30, 2010 at 12:53 am

    Thank you for this article Maria, you made such good points about what's not acceptable actions in the workplace. I hate it when women create these problems you've described. It makes it so hard to do my job. Sometimes I find myself staying away from the other women in the office because they get so mean and nasty. I don't know what to do…

  6. Maria

    June 30, 2010 at 10:04 pm

    Hello Friends: People are allowed to express themselves in anyway they choose. However, it's all about how you say it. That's in part, the point of the article. And it follows our radio show installment yesterday "Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say: How to Be Impeccable w/ Your Words". There are "reactions" to any way you position your words and attitudes towards another. So what kind of reaction do you want back at you today? Warmth? Acceptance? Respect? or Anger? Controversy? Strife?

    Thank you for your commentary!
    Maria Gamb

  7. Jane

    July 1, 2010 at 12:00 am

    One of the best posts I've read on this problem. I really have been thinking I was imagining women doing these things and maybe I just don't get along with others, but I really don't like it women who act this way and rather stay way then talk to them too much drama for me! Women are their own worst enemies.

  8. Fred

    July 1, 2010 at 12:04 am

    Women behaving badly never gets them anywhere accept at the bottom. That's why women aren't equal in upper management positions. You are in charge of households where even times you drive your men away by acting this way. Men hate this about women you cause headaches and your insecurities aren't attractive to us!

  9. Yvonee

    July 1, 2010 at 12:05 am

    I wish women could quit being petty bitchy babies. You go Maria and whip us into shape!

  10. Tiana

    July 14, 2010 at 2:44 pm

    I appreciate the tough love. Some women are this way and it's making the rest of us look bad. I mean, when we are applying for a job, what will the employer be thinking during the interview process? Probably: "how emotional is she?, how genuine is she?, how petty is she?" Instead of "how well can she communicate with customers and work as a team member" and lets not forget! "how well can she perform the actual task at hand?"
    Yes it is stereotyping, but if the majority of women who worked in your office were petty, how compelled would you be to hire a woman? This is what angers me, I try hard to be independent and show that I'm not just a woman, but a hardworking one and all the while, we are misrepresenting ourselves.

  11. Ashley

    December 11, 2014 at 8:24 pm

    Hello, I was wondering who was the creator of the lipstick lip gif. PLEASE. get back to me with this information. Thank you!

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